November 17, 2008

abc, we need to talk

Over the past few years, ABC has been dangerously close to wooing me away from my traditional NBC network loyalty. They've had an impressive rebranding effort. The network just released it's midseason schedule (usually starts after the holiday hiatus in late January). Introducing new shows midseason has become very trendy. Lost is a great example of one of the first major midseason victories for ABC. But, across the board, new series haven't been doing very well this year.

ABC is taking a few chances midseason, and I take issue with a few of them.

The following is a special message to ABC

Dear ABC,

This is why we're in a fight:
  • You left Pushing Daisies and Dirty Sexy Money in purgatory. No slot in the midseason line-up, but no cancellation. Answers please.
  • You keep bringing The Bachelor back. They never get married.
  • According to Jim, seriously?
  • Denny is back on Grey's for FIVE episodes. FIVE. He is dead. Leave it alone.
  • I'm hearing rumors of a new comedy called Cougar Town staring Courtney Cox. This does not bode well.
  • Two new midseason reality shows literally frighten me:
    1. Border Security USA: behind the scenes at the government's fight against terrorism. Shot on location throughout the US, the series will focus on the efforts of border protection agencies to halt illegal smuggling and immigration
    2. True Beauty: Executive producers Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher re-define the concept of beauty. Vanessa Minnillo, Cheryl Tiegs and Nolé Marin will judge six stunning females and four handsome males who will live together in a Los Angeles mansion as they undergo a series of challenges to determine who is truly the most beautiful.
This is why you might be forgiven:
  • You're keeping Eli Stone afloat.
  • Lost
  • You switched Private Practice to Thursdays after Grey's. The only place viewers can tolerate it.
  • You have two promising new midseason shows:
    1. The Unusuals: Ensemble dramedy about oddball NYPD characters, including Amber Tamblyn, written by Noah Hawley, who writes for Bones.
    2. Castle: Centers around a horror novelist who helps solve crimes with NYPD

I'm still unclear on my feelings about the adoption of Scrubs from NBC for what will probably be one final season. Why did you do this? Why do you confuse me so?

Your friend,


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