what happened to mtv?

Last night, I had one of those moments when I feel old. I was watching the VMAs, and it was totally lost on me. Great, I'm doomed to buying greatest hits albums and saying things like "kids these days." Then I realized, it's not me, it's MTV. What the hell happened to MTV?

Did anyone watch the VMAs? There were actually some things that I liked. It was great to see Britney looking good, and I'm glad she didn't perform (but I'm still wondering when she's going to get that hair situation figured out). Christina Aguilera, Pink, and Rihanna all gave really cool performances. I liked DJ AM and Travis Barker as the "orchestra pit."

I guess it was just the whole feel of the thing. There was a lot of controversy last year because they went way over the top with a main stage and live broadcasts from satellite stages in Vegas, NYC, and Miami. It was too much. This year, they seemed to do the opposite. It looked like a Disney production. Except of course for the dirty British comic, Russell Brand, whose comedy was completely lost on the audience. You don't use ironic British comedy on an audience of hip hop moguls and preteen pop stars. And the slightly serious political commentary seemed very awkward after the 72 Jonas Brothers virgin jokes. (They cut to the brothers a few times - not amused. I'm hearing he apologized at the end of the show)

My other issue. Why can no one read? I know teleprompters are tricky, but the presenters were reading 2 maybe 3 sentences. Almost no one could do it. Britney looked like a deer in headlights and held the microphone in front of her face. Although, she did make nice, short, composed acceptance speeches (again, are these the VMAs??). Lyndsay Lohan cannot read. Michael Phelps leaked all of his enthusiasm in the water cube pool. Demi Moore gets lost and also cannot read. We won't even talk about Lauren Conrad.

These are the things that made me feel old: Lil' Wayne's pants were literally around his ankles. His entire bum was exposed. I couldn't focus on the performance because I was too concerned with wanting to reach through the TV and pull his pants up. And I did not know the Best New Artist. How is that possible? That's supposed to be the biggest award. They did it American Idol style this year and had viewers vote throughout the show. Tokyo Hotel won. Who the hell is that? I swear to god, I did not know if the lead singer was a boy or girl until he/she opened his mouth. And I'm still not sure.

Overall, it was just weird. What happened to a cool looking stage with crazy performances one after another and letting drunk people on the stage (Madonna/Britney kiss, Diana Ross/Lil Kim boob grab, Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie makeout, Nirvana bassist hitting himself in the head with his guitar). What happened to MTV? The lighting was way too high - looked like a high school auditorium. The performances on "back lot" sets were a cool concept, but ended up looking really cheesy. Except for Pink - she slid down a rope and there was fire shooting up behind her. I love her.

Admittedly, I did miss the very end after DVR got caught off, so I didn't see Kanye close the show. After his big stink last year about not receiving enough awards and not having a prominent spot in the program, he actually did a press tour and formal statement saying he would never perform for MTV again. Funny what a lot of whining can do. I did hear that he performed an unreleased song. Arrogant.