May I present...The Unofficial Golden Globe Award Awards
Best Beard
Tie between Sting and Steve Carell - Boys, you make me proud.
Sexiest Lady
Maggie Gyllenhaal - I just love her.
Gentleman Award
Leonardo DiCaprio - He walked the carpet and did pre-interviews with Kate Winslet helping her walk through the crowd in her precarious shoes and dress, and graciously accepted her praise during the awards. The man is a class act.
Boss Award
Bruce Springstein - Your coolness is immeasurable.
Douchebag Award
David Duchovny - It pains me to say it, but his constant reference to his wife and kids in light of recent events was obviously PR-induced and borderline disrespectful.
Worst Hair
Drew Barrymore - Since when is she in a romantic relationship with Jessica Lange? Bizarro.
Best Underdog
Kate Winslet - Won two awards after going 0 and 10 on Oscars and Golden Globes.
Best Family
The Learys - Dennis Leary brought his wife and two children along on the red carpet and did all interviews with the whole family.
Jennifer Lopez - You are still a diva star, but that dress is a day late and some scotch tape short. You are no longer Diddy's girl.
Wasteful Porcelein Veneers Award
Angelina Jolie - Smile damnit.
A few additional notes...
Favorite Quotes:
"Wrap up? You have no idea how much I'm not wrapping up." - Kate Winslet
"We're TV actors." - Rain Wilson introducing himself and Blake Lively as presenters
"At the end of the day, I think what we all do in some way shape or form is about love. Curiosity is love. It's ignorance's nemesis." - Collin Farrell (who knew?)
"If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet. You can find a lot of people there who don't like you." - Tina Fey
"A black man can't get no love at the Emmys. I love you Europe!" - Tracy Morgan (what?)
Things I learned:
1. European men hug each other with much more enthusiasm than American men. I dig it.
2. Stephen Spielberg is kind of boring in real life.
3. Who Mickey Rourke is.
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