monday

I've awoken from the Olympic coma. And it's about to be the most wonderful time of year. Fall premieres. Season-ending cliffhangers from last year will be revealed in, let's face it, usually unsatisfying ways. It's like Christmas. In preparation, I will give you a day-by-day rundown of what's on.

Because of the writers strike, we have four unique categories of shows.

1) newbies: brandy new pilots

2) old newbies: last year's premieres that are basically restarting because they were shot in the foot by the writer's strike

3) oldies but goodies/not so goodies: been around for good or bad

4) reality shows: I won't write much about reality shows, but some got a big boost in the butt from the writers strike

Here's the menu for Mondays this fall:

NBC

Chuck: One of my favorite old newbies. Thanks to the Olympics on NBC, Chuck has gotten a fair amount of promo time in the last couple of weeks. This is a fun show with equal parts comedy, action and attractive people. Ok, Chuck is fricken adorable. It's a procedural (every week, different crime/crime-fighting/resolution sequence, i.e. Law & Order) with a strong enough plot to keep you coming back. Pretty sure this qualifies as an action show for the ladies.

Heroes: I'll call it an oldie but goodie because of the ratings, but I don't watch it. I tuned in for the first half of the first season. It got too complicated and too ridiculous for me. And just inflated. Also, Milo what's-his-name creeps me out. Gentlemen, don't date teenagers.

My Own Worst Enemy: This is the newbie with Christian Slater that is being promoted up the butt. It looks like a Jekyll & Hyde story with a lot of explosions. What happened to Christian Slater? He used to be the coolest, now it's painful to see him on screen for some reason. I'll probably check it out, but no guarantees of permanent DVR status.

ABC

Dancing with the Stars: I go hot and cold for this show. I usually watch the premiere to see if it hooks me. Here's this year's line-up: Toni Braxton, Lance Bass, Ted McGinley (actor), Cloris Leachman (82!), Warren Sapp (football), Rocco DiSpirito (chef), Kim Kardashian, Maurice Green (track Olympian), Misty May-Treanor (yay!), Susan Lucci (soaps), Jeffrey Ross (comedian), Cody Linley (Disney actor), and Brooke Burke (most likely to hook up with partner).

Samantha Who?: Here's an old newbie that seemed to fall under the radar last season. Good comedies are scarce these days for sure. Christina Applegate is funny. And the best friend character, played by Jennifer Esposito, is hilariously written. They also have great clothes. Like the kind of sexy work clothes that I always wish I owned, but just end up finding the H&M version. It's worth watching. Also, Jean Smart plays Samantha's mom. Charlene Frazier Stillfield? Come on.

Boston Legal: I don't watch this, but my dad loves it. They own the Emmies. Feel free to guest blog.

CBS

Sidenote: CBS is weird. They have a teeny tiny supply of worthwhile comedies and a whole heapload of disturbing crime-related programming.

The Big Bang Theory: Love this show. Love. It's a sitcom about a group of best friends who are genius scientists. Jim Parsons (Medieval Times knight from Garden State) plays Sheldon, and he is absolute perfection. Again, we're starving for good comedies these days, but this one is bursting at the seams with talent. Check it out.

How I Met Your Mother: Let's be honest, it's sort "replacement Friends" for most of us. Twenty-something love and life drama with good laughs. But it's little more creative. Neil Patrick Harris makes this entire show.

Two and a Half Men: Who the hell watches this? I love you Ducky Dale, but this show is crap.

Worst Week: Newbie comedy described as "An engaged man tries desperately to impress his fiance's parents but his attempts inevitably end in disaster." Meet the Parents on TV. I'm skeptical.

CSI:Miami: Is this the one with David Caruso? He's weird. I don't like it.

FOX

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles: Here's an old newbie that I didn't expect to make it. Is Sarah Connor the Terminator's daughter? Wasn't he a robot? It doesn't appeal to me, but feel free to disagree.

Prison Break: People go crazy for this show. I watched the first season and the second season made me feel so anxious every episode that they would be caught or killed, I had to stop for my own safety. Let me know what you think of this season and maybe I'll get back on board.

Miscellaneous

Gossip Girl: I'm embarrassed to say that I don't watch this. I feel like I'm way out of the loop. I never got into it at first because all of the characters seemed like the kind of people I was scared of in high school. I'm expecting guest blogs.

One Tree Hill: Admittedly, I watched the first couple of seasons, but how the HELL is this still on?? Chad Michael Murray, you are not aging well.

And that's just Monday.